Monday funny

Sorry if this has been sent to you via email, you can skip it…really my feelings won’t be hurt. But for the rest of you…
Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraff iti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously w hen you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallo r (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Happy Monday!

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Humor

5 responses to “Monday funny

  1. Becky

    Needed that today, super fun!Thanks sweetie!B-

  2. Houston

    Oooh, was the spider one for someone I know:)

  3. Vivian

    Oh! How fabulous! I love this list!

  4. ducky

    I have gotten that before and my favorite always is:Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

  5. Heather

    I thought I had gotten that list before, but there are a few I had not seen. LOL!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s